Here we are...many years later

Here we are,
many years later,
we've grown up,
aged a bit too;
We started out headed in one direction,
then coming to a halt,
changing our directions.
I still wonder,
to this day.
We are best friends,
that will never change, never;
However, my love goes deeper than that,
though, I will keep it under lock and key,
until...

I Miss Hanging Out with my Friends

I miss hanging out with my friends, I miss the face to face chats, it's just not the same with texting, emails, and facebook; don't get me wrong, I am grateful for those things, just miss them that's all. My friends add that extra dose of happiness that is needed in life; they keep me sane and level headed too. I can call on them when I have a problem, or I can call just to say hi, or nothing at all, we always find something to talk about. I have the greatest friends around, I just know they will remain, for the rest of my days; I can only hope they feel the same.

Been in a dark, cold and dingy hole

It's been awhile since I have posted anything, been in a hole; as I climb out of the hole, I see the sunlight above my head. I feel the warmth of the rays of the sun as they hit my cool, damp body from being in a cold, dark, and dingy hole. Luckily, I was not in this hole for that long because it will not take me long to bounce back...this time. Here I am, sitting above the hole, looking around like it's the first time I've ever seen before.

Demons

Poetry, a way to release the demons that lurk within us. the demons that possess us and so deseprately want to take control. Poetry a way to get them out and send them far away.

Clarity

Becoming clearer,
as each day unfolds.
Staring into the mirror,
almost don't recognize,
the one staring back.

A clear head,
as a clear blue day,
only a few splotches of cloudiness;
ready to live,
as I am intended to,
strong, young, vibrant,
a renewed perspective,
on the days ahead.

Clarity,
what a concept,
haven't been this clear,
since,
the renaissance.

The Darkness

Decisions,
making decisions,
changing direction;
time to hand over the reins,
to ask for help,
a hand to hold,
to guide me through,
this darkness;
I've walked the darkness,
alone,
far too long.

Muddling Through

I used to just go through the motions,
going with the flow, like a river;
drifting along without a mission.

Seeing the light now at the end of the tunnel,
the direction I must go, with or without you;
it is my time, my turn to shine,
like the Northern Lights.

There was a time I would not be,
thinking of me,
though that time is now in the yester years,
and surely where they will stay.

I don't expect it to be an easy transition,
no one said it was going to be;
however, all good changes are usually the toughest,
to muddle through,
so here goes the muddling.

Surrender

Surrender,
that's all I need to do,
wish it were that simple.
God, I ask you
for the willingness to surrender...this obsession,
Tired,
so tired;
that I keep falling,
I need to rid this out,
of me;
Oh the pain,
make it stop,
don't want it any lomger;
I surrender.
As I surrender,
hold my hand,
walk by my side.

didn't think i'd be back here

never thought I'd be back here.
it's harder the second time around
to admit i am powerlessnes.
tried hard not to make any u-turns
though i guess i didn't try hard enough.
hiding in my shadow,
trying not to let anyone see the shame that i feel.
powerlessness, uh, ummmm...i am powerlessness.

Stubborn, yes my friend I am.

Stubborn,
yes my friend, that I am.
I don't mean to be, really I don't want to be.
I don't want to do something unless...
Sometimes there is a price for being stubborn,
sometimes you have to lose some, to win some.
Might seem like the hardest thing to deal with,
but in truth, it's not.
Cannot help but be stubborn,
it's my nature,
something I just don't know to stop being,
don't know who to turn to too,
not too many understand the true dynamics.
Pride, to proud.
Stubborness, comes out instead,
to protect that pride.
Stubborn,
yes my friend, that I am.

Powerlessness

Powerlessness,
admitting powerlessness,
not something that some can do easily.
Admitting powerlessness, takes strength and courage,
by admitting powerlessness,
does not mean weakness,
though for some they think so,
along with a loss of pride.
Powerlessness,
is not admitting that we are powerlessness,
admit you need help.