I made it through the night...

Alone now in your house, I knew it was going to be hard; however, did not realize how hard. I made it through my first night alone in your house. Cried a lot, held onto a shirt of yours that wore often. Missing you, wish I could have you back home with me, I would do anything if it were possible to have this wish become reality. I know it cannot; therefore, here I sit at a Starbucks with a Chai tea and my laptop looking up a few things that you own, to see what they are worth. Going to go home and pack up a few of your knick knacks to protect them from being damaged and dust. I looked around a bit this morning began to cry and just had to stop and sit in your chair. I don't feel like doing a damn thing today. Oh! How I would love to just sit and drink away my pain and saddness, but I know from experience that will not work. Besides you would not allow me to do so so nor would others in my life. Rather than sit and mope, I am trying to get out and moving and do something, anything for today at least; tomorrow is another day.