when i see fellow military hurting, or who have passed, or just hanging with them,
i feel a sense of pride, that i am also a part of the same thing as them,
we are standing up for our country, putting ourselves in harms way,
it is something to be proud of, i feel a connection, my heart goes out to them, i feel the pain that they are feeling, the happiness, the anger, whatever it may be, i feel it too,
i know its tough on our families, friends and veterans of past wars,
but all in all, we are doing what we want to do,
standing proud,
serving our country with dignity and interegity,
it is or duty, yea we don't want to die, but we will if we have to and do it in pride and honor,
God Bless the USA, I am proud to be serving and proud to be an American!!

I like my apartment, I like where I live,
I like having my own space,
not answering to anyone,
can clean if I want or not,
yea, it gets lonely,
but that's ok, I get over it,
we all end up walking alone at some time or another,
even if for just a brief moment in time,
I like where I am,
I like where I'm going,
finally I like where I am and going,
haven't felt like this in a very long time....

living life, not living life...

living life...
not living life...
what does it mean to live life?
is it doing what God wants, or is it doing what you want?
Or can we do what we and God want, as long as we are happy and others are happy,
and that we are helping others?
living life,
not living life,
pleasing others,
doing what others want,
making others happy,
then doing what we want,
altho sometimes doing for others instead of ourselves is what makes us happy,
but then we also do need to take care of ourselves too,
and we should be doing that first then taking care of others,
we aren't any good to others if we are not happy with ourselves...
live life for you,
live life for God,
then live life for someone else...

TIRED...

Tired,
Tired of my life  just being,
I want to have my life be where I want it,
I think I deserve to be happy, to have what I want,
So why can't I have it?
Tired of just being,
I want to live,
I want more,
I just want to hang with friends, family,
work in a good job that is fullfilling and rewarding,
somewhere, where I get the respect that I deserve,
Tired of mean people,
Tired of people just out for themselves,
Don't they know that's not why they were put here,
God did not intend for us to be mean, and out for ourselves, at least not totally,
He wants us to be happy and make sure we do what we need and want for ourselves, but at the same time be there for others and help others as well,
Tired of it all,
When will it get better?
When will it start going right, in my direction?
I think it's time, now,
I'm just so tired....

can't make up my mind...

seems like i can't make up my mind on what i want to do,
am i crazy? or just don't know what to do?
i know i want to be happy,
i want to go to school and finish, i want a good job that i enjoy going to each day,
is it to much to want it all?
is that to much to ask?
i guess i should just keep living my life one day at a time,
and just leave it in God's hands, because in the outcome,
it's going to be the his plan that i end up doing, i do not have the plan,
even if i think i do, it's his plan, i am here for a reason, doing what i'm doing for a reason, for God!

just gets frustrating at times....
feel like giving up, throwing in the towel,
but then i look up, and i see a face and hear a voice,
hang in there, things are getting better....

my new beginning...Happy Easter!

really enjoying my space, my time in my own apartment,
really do not want to leave it yet,
going to be goin to school full-time and only work part-time,
a closer commute as well,
i am really enjoying my space,
i don't think i am ready to give it up quite yet,
there is something to say for having your own space, living alone,
yea it gets lonely, but at the same time, it is ok, i'm ok, i will be ok and i will make it thru this life and will get all that i want and deserve from this life,
altho right now, having God's love, loving myself, is the most important, having this, everything else will fall into place...a new beginning...Amen!

sunny days...

a beautiful day today,
sitting on the deck,
reading, and just chilling...
hopefully more of  these days to come,
the sun,
makes me feel good when i am out in it,
i like these sunny days,
taking a walk near a lake, or in the woods,
hiking up a mountaintop,
warm and sunny spring days,
looking foward to the summer days...