Pondering some more this morning....It is what it is I guess nothing I can do about it except just sit here and take it, I don't have to like it and it hurts like hell, but oh well. I'll get over it by the time your home this weekend, but I certainly will never forget it and how it made me feel.
Life has a funny way of teaching us things, some of it good and some not so good; however, we are still learning something, whether we want to learn it or not we are, we did. We may not care, we may think we buried it deep and forgot about it, but when we need to know it creep back up and remind us.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Just sitting here....pondering
sitting here with my guitar, drinking a beer. Playing some tunes on the 6-string.
trying not to think of the future because it is unknown, so why dwell on something
I do not know much about that might or might not happen, it is not in my control;
something I need to accept, yet something so simple is so complicated to do.
Strumming the strings to an Eagles song, "Lyin' Eyes". Keep playing it over and over,
trying to play it perfectly, without mistake, there was a time I could, but those times came and went,
oh how I wish they were still here...sometimes.
Well, I gotta go feed the cats there night time feeding, then I suppose I should try to get some sleep myself,
unless I want to be up all night long, playing the guitar and writing sad, sad poetry and prose. Which wouldn't be the first time that I have, it's just been a long time, a very long time...I kind of miss those nights...
Sunday, October 28, 2012
The Corpse
There it lay on the damp leaves, under the maple tree with all its leaves fallen to the ground,
a body lays there, under the tall maple surrounded by damp and dirty leaves, waiting to be found,
so the one who put me here like this will be known.
The police are here, yellow tape all around where I lay, even a little past,
someone is poking and touching me, turning me this way and that way,
oh how I wish I could leave and go up, but I cannot, not until the killer is caught,
to pay for what he has done to me, for leaving me here in the bare, out here on dirty wet leaves under a tree for all the world to see. Oh, how are not right in the head-
Oh this table is cold, and hard, oh no you are not using that on me,
to find out how I got to be here on your table; if you really want to know just ask me, I'll tell you.
Can't you see all the stab wounds, the slice across my neck....
more to come.
a body lays there, under the tall maple surrounded by damp and dirty leaves, waiting to be found,
so the one who put me here like this will be known.
The police are here, yellow tape all around where I lay, even a little past,
someone is poking and touching me, turning me this way and that way,
oh how I wish I could leave and go up, but I cannot, not until the killer is caught,
to pay for what he has done to me, for leaving me here in the bare, out here on dirty wet leaves under a tree for all the world to see. Oh, how are not right in the head-
Oh this table is cold, and hard, oh no you are not using that on me,
to find out how I got to be here on your table; if you really want to know just ask me, I'll tell you.
Can't you see all the stab wounds, the slice across my neck....
more to come.
One way, and Another way...
This pain inside is so strong,
at times I feel like it is stronger than I,
there are days when it feels like it is winning.
There's another living inside,
I don't know how and why?
I wish I could yank it out of you.
One day you are ok,
the next day you're not you.
One day there is so much pain in your heart,
and other days you feel on top of the world.
Somedays you feel like you are in control,
other days not so much, on these days, are the days you need
to fight back even harder, show it that you are in control of you.
I know it seems like it's winning,
like there is no beating it.
I am here to tell you, you can,
take back you, take back the control.
The pain will always be there, I am afraid to say,
however, you can be in control of how it will affect you.
at times I feel like it is stronger than I,
there are days when it feels like it is winning.
There's another living inside,
I don't know how and why?
I wish I could yank it out of you.
One day you are ok,
the next day you're not you.
One day there is so much pain in your heart,
and other days you feel on top of the world.
Somedays you feel like you are in control,
other days not so much, on these days, are the days you need
to fight back even harder, show it that you are in control of you.
I know it seems like it's winning,
like there is no beating it.
I am here to tell you, you can,
take back you, take back the control.
The pain will always be there, I am afraid to say,
however, you can be in control of how it will affect you.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
The House on the Corner
The House on the Corner
There he was standing on the sidewalk, looking at the house that stood at the corner of Main and Creepers Streets. No one has stepped foot in the yard of this house, it just looks haunted and all the rumors say it is. Except this one overcast afternoon Jake was dared to go through the front gate of the house. Jake is petrafied; however, he cannot and will not let his buddies see his fright.
As Jake stands in front of the house on the sidewalk, his buddies are across the street watching Jake, Hootin' and Hollorin' at Jake to get moving into the yard of the house. No one knows what will happen, they can only guess and remember the stories that have been told of what happens when anyone crosses the threshold of the house's property.
Jake begins to walk foward finally, approaches the gate and opens it, slowly walks into the overgrown yard. As Jake continues walking up the what would have been the walkway to the porch, his buddies have grown silent and fright have replaced their antagonizing on their faces. They watch Jake walk up onto the porch, as nothing happens to Jake, or at least nothing that is visible. Jake leaves the house and walks out the gate back to his buddies. One of his buddies, Scottie, says to Jake, "You look different, I don't know how, nor can I explain, but you look different, you seem different." Jake replies with a light, hesitant, raspy voice, "I'm fine, I feel fine."
There he was standing on the sidewalk, looking at the house that stood at the corner of Main and Creepers Streets. No one has stepped foot in the yard of this house, it just looks haunted and all the rumors say it is. Except this one overcast afternoon Jake was dared to go through the front gate of the house. Jake is petrafied; however, he cannot and will not let his buddies see his fright.
As Jake stands in front of the house on the sidewalk, his buddies are across the street watching Jake, Hootin' and Hollorin' at Jake to get moving into the yard of the house. No one knows what will happen, they can only guess and remember the stories that have been told of what happens when anyone crosses the threshold of the house's property.
Jake begins to walk foward finally, approaches the gate and opens it, slowly walks into the overgrown yard. As Jake continues walking up the what would have been the walkway to the porch, his buddies have grown silent and fright have replaced their antagonizing on their faces. They watch Jake walk up onto the porch, as nothing happens to Jake, or at least nothing that is visible. Jake leaves the house and walks out the gate back to his buddies. One of his buddies, Scottie, says to Jake, "You look different, I don't know how, nor can I explain, but you look different, you seem different." Jake replies with a light, hesitant, raspy voice, "I'm fine, I feel fine."
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Creepy and Gripping
"The Writing on the Wall" By Julie Morrigan
The Writing on the Wall is the title of the book along with one of eight stories in the book. While I was looking at the book on the Kindle before I purchased it, I did not realize it was a collection of stories. I did not get that out of the description; however, I bought it anyway because I liked the title The Writing on the Wall.
The story that names the book is the seventh story and grabs your attention right away with the first two sentences, in which this is how it starts: “I was lying in bed pretending to be asleep, the covers pulled up to my chin. My hands shook as they gripped the sheets, my breathing ragged, air taken in shallow sips.” I do not know about you, but these two sentences reeled me in. It sounds like a horror movie made for television.
It is more of a young adult (YA) short story; however, still an enjoyable read. Makes you think twice about Ouija boards and joking around with curses and turning them into a game. It is a rather creepy story that will send chills through you body.
The author Julie Morrigan, uses descriptive words and details to make it as creepy as she did. In the introduction of the book she describes in a way that she believes it is and that the reader just might see it in the same shade of light too. Morrigan nailed this one right “dead” center. It is a creepy and grippingly must YA story.
I recommend this book, not just for The Writing on the Wall, but also for the entire collection of stories. They are all well written and worth the read.
The Writing on the Wall is the title of the book along with one of eight stories in the book. While I was looking at the book on the Kindle before I purchased it, I did not realize it was a collection of stories. I did not get that out of the description; however, I bought it anyway because I liked the title The Writing on the Wall.
The story that names the book is the seventh story and grabs your attention right away with the first two sentences, in which this is how it starts: “I was lying in bed pretending to be asleep, the covers pulled up to my chin. My hands shook as they gripped the sheets, my breathing ragged, air taken in shallow sips.” I do not know about you, but these two sentences reeled me in. It sounds like a horror movie made for television.
It is more of a young adult (YA) short story; however, still an enjoyable read. Makes you think twice about Ouija boards and joking around with curses and turning them into a game. It is a rather creepy story that will send chills through you body.
The author Julie Morrigan, uses descriptive words and details to make it as creepy as she did. In the introduction of the book she describes in a way that she believes it is and that the reader just might see it in the same shade of light too. Morrigan nailed this one right “dead” center. It is a creepy and grippingly must YA story.
I recommend this book, not just for The Writing on the Wall, but also for the entire collection of stories. They are all well written and worth the read.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Warrior Ethos Essay
Warrior Ethos Essay
I will always place the mission first
I will never accept defeat
I will never quit
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
The warrior ethos, a code that all soldiers live by the full-timers and the “weekend warriors” National Guard and Reserves alike, it does not mean any less to the weekend warriors than it does to the fulltime (Army). We are all a part of the same team, “Army of One,” and we are all “Army Strong.”In fact, we bring the warrior ethos into our civilian lives and teach it to our family. Imagine, if the world live according to the Ethos.
I myself can personally, relate to the first four lines of the Ethos in all aspects of my life. I have always had a problem with passing my two-mile run of the APFT, always missing my time within a minute. However, I never did quit, I kept pushing myself until I passed with continuing the success into my deployment overseas in 2007 and as a result receiving my sergeant rank. I continued to run while overseas to keep up with my success. Then when I returned home in 2008, I went and hired a personal trainer to keep me going on that road to success towards my mission of maxing out the APFT.
I always dreamt of being a soldier in the army, serving my country, unfortunately however, I did not do so immediately following high school. It seems like I was always talking myself out of it for one reason or another, then finally at the ripe old age of thirty-two, I told myself, “It’s now or never” because at that time the cut off age was thirty-four years old. All I can remember about the day I left for basic training and arriving at Fort Jackson, S.C. is that I was scared to death; however, I tried extremely hard not to let it show. This was before I knew about the Ethos and however, I was not going to quit then either. Weeks later, with only the FTX, APFT left to do until graduation, I hurt my foot during the APFT, though I still finished and passed with the personal courage that was inside of me. It was bad, I could not walk or stand without hurting, I did not want to go to sick call because I would be on profile and that would extend my time on base and not graduate with my battles. However, a few of my battles told me to go and said, “That your feet are more important than the army.” Therefore, off I went to sick call, and I was right, I ended up on a profile and not graduating on time. Graduation came and went, watching my battles going off to their AIT. As I sit in shame while waiting to go back to reception area to PTRP, to recover which included 30-day convalescence leave. Then finish my last two weeks with a different platoon and drill sergeants, so I decided to request the same drill sergeants.
Later at PTRP, where I almost gave up and wanted so much to throw in the towel; however, I stuck it out however painful physically and mentally it was; I was not going to quit! After a couple weeks, after my convalescence leave to finish what I started; finally I graduated and went onto AIT, still injured (hid it from the DR at PTRP) because I wanted to so much to get out of there and go home!
Instead of four months of training, it was nine months; however, I have to say, eleven years later, it was worth it, though painstakingly as it was. With some personal courage, honor, and loyalty I overcame, adapted, and finished my mission with success. Now all these years later, I am still passing the APFT, but now with a walking, rather than running profile; it was not all “cake and ice cream,” I was flagged and banned from re-enlisting until I passed my APFT with or without a profile. I did not feel like I should be in the Army with a profile for the longest time; however, I do deserve to serve my country, just as much has anyone else without a profile serving and I do it with pride, to be able to wear the uniform.
I will always place the mission first
I will never accept defeat
I will never quit
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
The Warrior Ethos, words that we live by is a choice that we make and accept with pride.
Written By Sgt. Kristin Hurtig of the Illinois Army National Guard
I will always place the mission first
I will never accept defeat
I will never quit
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
The warrior ethos, a code that all soldiers live by the full-timers and the “weekend warriors” National Guard and Reserves alike, it does not mean any less to the weekend warriors than it does to the fulltime (Army). We are all a part of the same team, “Army of One,” and we are all “Army Strong.”In fact, we bring the warrior ethos into our civilian lives and teach it to our family. Imagine, if the world live according to the Ethos.
I myself can personally, relate to the first four lines of the Ethos in all aspects of my life. I have always had a problem with passing my two-mile run of the APFT, always missing my time within a minute. However, I never did quit, I kept pushing myself until I passed with continuing the success into my deployment overseas in 2007 and as a result receiving my sergeant rank. I continued to run while overseas to keep up with my success. Then when I returned home in 2008, I went and hired a personal trainer to keep me going on that road to success towards my mission of maxing out the APFT.
I always dreamt of being a soldier in the army, serving my country, unfortunately however, I did not do so immediately following high school. It seems like I was always talking myself out of it for one reason or another, then finally at the ripe old age of thirty-two, I told myself, “It’s now or never” because at that time the cut off age was thirty-four years old. All I can remember about the day I left for basic training and arriving at Fort Jackson, S.C. is that I was scared to death; however, I tried extremely hard not to let it show. This was before I knew about the Ethos and however, I was not going to quit then either. Weeks later, with only the FTX, APFT left to do until graduation, I hurt my foot during the APFT, though I still finished and passed with the personal courage that was inside of me. It was bad, I could not walk or stand without hurting, I did not want to go to sick call because I would be on profile and that would extend my time on base and not graduate with my battles. However, a few of my battles told me to go and said, “That your feet are more important than the army.” Therefore, off I went to sick call, and I was right, I ended up on a profile and not graduating on time. Graduation came and went, watching my battles going off to their AIT. As I sit in shame while waiting to go back to reception area to PTRP, to recover which included 30-day convalescence leave. Then finish my last two weeks with a different platoon and drill sergeants, so I decided to request the same drill sergeants.
Later at PTRP, where I almost gave up and wanted so much to throw in the towel; however, I stuck it out however painful physically and mentally it was; I was not going to quit! After a couple weeks, after my convalescence leave to finish what I started; finally I graduated and went onto AIT, still injured (hid it from the DR at PTRP) because I wanted to so much to get out of there and go home!
Instead of four months of training, it was nine months; however, I have to say, eleven years later, it was worth it, though painstakingly as it was. With some personal courage, honor, and loyalty I overcame, adapted, and finished my mission with success. Now all these years later, I am still passing the APFT, but now with a walking, rather than running profile; it was not all “cake and ice cream,” I was flagged and banned from re-enlisting until I passed my APFT with or without a profile. I did not feel like I should be in the Army with a profile for the longest time; however, I do deserve to serve my country, just as much has anyone else without a profile serving and I do it with pride, to be able to wear the uniform.
I will always place the mission first
I will never accept defeat
I will never quit
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
The Warrior Ethos, words that we live by is a choice that we make and accept with pride.
Written By Sgt. Kristin Hurtig of the Illinois Army National Guard
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